Wednesday, June 25, 2008

This guy get some major points for style!

So I have been looking around Craigslist for a car and I found this ad. I couldn't stop laughing! Make sure you read through the whole thing:) Its totally serious!

2002 Hyundai Elantra 68k mi $4500

Story Behind My Hyundai Purchase --------------------------------
I shopped around for the cheapest possible car I could find. The Nissan Sentra felt like a tin box with wheels, and the Hyundai Accent felt like a broken tin box with wheels. The Hyundai Elantra won because it felt like a nice tin box with wheels. I didn't really like the color, and I didn't really think the car was that great -- but I was in a hurry to purchase a car because I had just t-boned my brothers Toyota Corolla which had been passed down to me. That -- and the $12,300 price tag.
Things to Note About This Vehicle ---------------------------------
- It has 68k miles - all of which were driven pretty poorly
- which may have been hard on the vehicle
- Other than regular milage maintenance, the car has never had a mechanical issue
- Car was given 60k checkup. An expensive belt was replaced that seems to be important. Things were good.
- New wheels were purchased at 45k miles. Severe damage was done to tires because they were never rotated. The new tires have yet to be rotated. They may have told me the wheel base was bent a little bit. Not sure if there is such a thing as a "wheel base". I just seems to sound right. - Oil changes were few and far between. Probably every 12,000 miles but I really cannot be sure. - The interior of the car smells pretty bad and the original smell may never be attainable. The smell is a mixture of farts that I had to hold in way too long at work, old McDonalds fries stuck in the cracks, and I believe there is a half eaten Egg Sandwich dried up in the trunk but I haven't looked back there for a few months. And then the typical burger wrappers, donut crumbs, etc. - The inside of the car has not been cleaned in well over 18 months - The A/C sometimes smells bad, I have no idea what it is. However, sometimes without even noticing my neck gets frozen after about 20 minutes because the A/C works so well.
- Likewise, the heater works fantastic.
- The radio is after-market. I think it is Sony
- it plays CDs and has bass boost. It also has an mp3 jack that I thought I would use "tons". I've used it about 3 times with my iPod which I've also used about 7 times. AM Stations sound pretty good on it.
- The cloth interior is kind of ugly and based on what I know, no fluids of any kind have gone into the cloth. - The car was stolen back in 2002 and was out of my hands for 2 weeks. It was found 3 blocks from my house. In the back seat was a Hustler, a pair of jeans, and a pipe for weed. There was also a folder with a notebook discussing how they were going to revolutionize the Twin Cities rap scene similar to how Nelly had done so in East St. Louis. The jeans were size 26 which were way to small for me to keep.
- The cup holders are pretty much completely ruined but still usable. There is an uncleanable gelatin-like substance from the numerous leakages stemming from Fast Food paper cups and my inability to remove them from my car.
- The car comes with about 2.70 cents in pennies, nickles, and dimes (all quarters were removed). This change is in the ash tray. The coins are covered with 4 year old ashes from some jerk that ashed weed on my coins while joyriding my car.
- The car used to have golf clubs and rollerblades in the trunk. Those were stolen during the 2 weeks in which my car was gone.
- The floormats were taken out of the car because they are super disgusting. Because of that, the floor of the car is now super disgusting. It is pretty much your choice on what you want to do.
- There is tons of hail damage on the car from a storm this summer. It was parked just outside my garage because the treadmill and bench that I do not use were blocking my parking space in the garage.
- There is a huge dent on the left front wheel well. It does not cause any driving issues. I'm not quite sure how it happened but I'm pretty sure someone smashed a shopping cart into the side of my car. It was a shopping cart hit and run.
- The headlights kind of point toward the ground - you might want to look into it - I don't know how to fix it.
- The wipers are super loud and sqeak and they suck. In 68k miles I have had 2 sets of wipers. I replaced them once and it sucked -- I almost broke a finger and I was sweating really bad. It was a horrible experience. The wipers are cheapies from Holiday gas station.
- The Hyundai Manual is located in the glove compartment just under some melted chocolate from Halloween. I had tons of Halloween candy in my car and needed to hide it when I had people riding in my car. At some point I forgot the chocolate was in there and it melted all over the manual. Hopefully it will harden in the fall and it will crack off pretty easily.
- The trunk has sticky stuff in there - I'm not sure what it is from.
- The gas tank opener on the drivers side floor works about 50% of the time. It is ridiculously annoying. - Most gas tank nozzles only go about half way in for some reason. Just the tip.
- I think there is mouth wash in one of the compartments in the arm rest. I wouldn't use it -- it is from 2003 I think.
- There are tons of pens and pencils in the glove compartment - but no gloves.
- Cruise Control works awesome.
- I think my car has hazard lights that flash both turn blinkers
- Turn signals work beautifully
- There are smell dents on the doors from others opening their door into mine - but they are unnoticable when compared to the hail damage.
- The stuff inside the hood has never really been seen by the owner. Not sure what is all in there but it is still working.
- Jiffy Lube always tells me to replace some air filter. I always decline. You may want to do this at some point.
- I have never really tracked what kind of gas milage my car gets. I did once and I think it was around 26 mpg but I can't be certain. I was going to do it again but it seems like a pain just to find out a number.
- The car gets a little shakey when you get it up past 75 mph which is a nice built in mechanism preventing you from speeding tickets on the freeway.
- The A/C whistles quite often during acceleration. The faster the acceleration the louder the whistle.
- When I flip the heat to defrost the windshield the A/C light turns on. I was assured by Hyundai representatives that the heater and A/C are not both on even though the car is telling you they are both on. They said this feature comes standard in all Hyundais as it turns on some type of compressor which makes the light turn on. I think it was a compressor - does that sound right?
- The color of the car is called midnight grey. However, under the right sunlight it looks purple. For this, I was made fun of. It was adoringly referred to as "The Purple Ninja". Overall the car is excellent and I may not even sell it. If you would like this car for 4500 please email me.


Andie said...

LOL, I love the part about when the car got stolen. Does Jay Leno accept Craig's list ads for his Monday night headlines?

So, is this the car you bought? I'm out of mouthwash; maybe I could borrow some? ;-)

The Millers said...

Oh my gosh. This is like the funniest thing I've ever read! Thanks for sharing this!

Christine Archibald said...

Sounds like a winner! I am impressed that this guy spent so much time going into that kind of detail. Very interesting ride.
Hi Audrey! I love your blog. You are mighty entertaining. We will be in MN in the end of August and hope to see you guys.
Christine Archibald

molly and geoff archibald said...

I'm pretty sure this "midnight grey" color is the same color we had on our hyundai elantra! we never knew if we should say grey or purple...i LOVE how honest this guy was. hopefully he found a buyer who appreciated his honesty and his sense of humor too.

Nicole said...

I think he spent way too much time typing that. It was funny though.

Kristen said...

Are you really sure it is for real? Maybe he can sell our car. We have lots of "stuff" in it that we are willing to lose with the car...are you interested?